What to Expect in Your First Discernment Counseling Session
Discernment Counseling (DC) has gained significant traction in the therapy landscape recently. As couples find themselves at a crossroads in their relationships, this specialized form of counseling is landing in their Google searches. Private practices, including our own, have noted a marked uptick in inquiring about discernment services, and therapists are frequently recommending it as an option for couples on the brink of separation.
However, what many don't realize is that Discernment Counseling follows a specific, structured protocol. In this blog post, we'll briefly delve into the key aspects of this protocol and provide valuable insights into what you can expect during your first Discernment Counseling session.
Understanding the Discernment Counseling Protocol
The Discernment Counseling protocol is an approach that differs significantly from traditional couples therapy. Your current couples therapist may transition you to this method if they deem it appropriate and have the necessary experience. Alternatively, you can start fresh with a therapist specifically trained in this protocol. It's also worth noting that Discernment Counseling isn't always our first recommendation. If you're seeking professional help for the first time, traditional couples therapy might be a better starting point.
Developed by William J. Doherty from the University of Minnesota, the Discernment Counseling Protocol emerged from research revealing high levels of ambivalence among couples even after initiating divorce proceedings. Doherty pioneered a new way to support couples navigating this challenging process, focusing on helping them find clarity in their relationships.
Key Aspects of the Discernment Counseling Protocol
Short-term Approach: Discernment Counseling is brief, typically lasting 1-5 sessions. It has a focused goal of supporting clarity rather than providing a space for in-depth processing. After each session, you'll decide together whether you need more time.
Structured Format: The protocol follows a tailored structure designed to guide you toward one of three paths. For more information on these three paths, check out our Discernment Counseling Specialty Page.
Focus on Clarity and Decision-Making: During these sessions, you'll reflect on your relationship and how you've arrived at this crossroads. This process aids in understanding the viability of your relationship and making an informed decision. The emphasis is less on repair and more on intentional reflection for decision-making.
Now that we’ve covered some of the key aspects of the discernment process. Let’s provide some additional insight into what you can expect from your first Discernment Counseling session.
Setting the Stage for Your First Session
While every therapist may have their unique approach to working with couples facing relationship uncertainty, you can generally expect a similar structure when following the Discernment Counseling protocol. At Colorado Therapy Collective, we typically divide our 100-minute sessions into four distinct parts. Here's what you can expect:
Time Together to Share: We'll begin by exploring key questions and focusing on the patterns in your relationship that have led you to this point. We'll examine your relationship's strengths and challenges holistically. This is your time to reflect on personal concerns with our compassionate support, ensuring the conversation remains productive.
Individual Session - Partner A: Next, we'll meet with each of you individually. If you're the partner having doubts, this is your safe space to address and explore your concerns without pressure. We'll help you identify your role in the relationship dynamics and reflect on the impact these patterns have had on you.
Individual Session - Partner B: The other partner will then have their turn. If you're the one committed to the relationship and anxious about its state, this is your opportunity to have your fears validated and heard. We'll also guide you in reflecting on your part in the relationship and how these patterns have also impacted you.
Time Together for Final Reflection: Finally, we'll share our observations about the patterns we've noticed based on the information you've shared. We'll support each of you in discussing what you've discovered during your individual sessions, facilitating a compassionate conversation between you. At the end of this session, you'll decide whether you'd like to schedule another session.
Preparing for Your Discernment Counseling Journey
When thinking about starting the Discernment Counseling process, it's normal to feel a mix of emotions - anxiety, hope, uncertainty, or even relief. Whatever you're feeling, we're here to support you both through this process.
Whether this leads to recommitting to your relationship, deciding to separate, or choosing to explore further therapy, the insights you gain from Discernment Counseling can be invaluable for your personal growth and future relationships. The goal is to help you make that decision with more clarity and confidence.
Denver Counseling for Discernment
Our team at Colorado Therapy Collective is trained or pursuing ongoing training in the Discernment Counseling Protocol. If you're facing relationship uncertainty, we're here to support you in your next steps. Reach out today for a free consultation by filling out our contact form here, and someone from our intake team will get in touch with you.
